In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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I'm Coming

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

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No it doesnt..

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops