My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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salad days!

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops