How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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A fat guy!

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Justin with a hat.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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