If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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