An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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