Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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What's big and purple? Barney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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