your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops