Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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