Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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