While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops