How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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