A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Look at your hand. Made you look!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call your mother? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops