- Anti Joke

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

You.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

make me a sandwich!

women's rights

GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

what rhymes with sloth? rape

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _| -' \ '####, ------- /____\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \\\\ || |||| ||// |||| |||| |||| /)/) //// //// ////. .' '. '. (_kOs))

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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