Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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Women's Rights...

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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I'm Spartacus

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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