1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops