A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops