Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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No soup for you!

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Neither have I

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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