What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops