What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops