Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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A women left the kitchen.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops