A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

alert('The Game')

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

thumb_up thumb_down -24

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops