A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Poker face

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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