Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -38

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

thumb_up thumb_down -40

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops