A baby seal walks into a club.

An orphan falls off a cliff.

penis

why did you poop because you are a poop

Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

Yo momma so fat she's obese.

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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