Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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