Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

How tall is oprah.. 5'7

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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