A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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why girl die cancer

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Sam Hengal.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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