Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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penis. nuff said.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Women's Rights

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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