A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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