What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Alchohol.

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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b

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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