A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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