Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

Knock Knock, Come in.

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

Women rights..

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

Like my status for a tbh?

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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