Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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