how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops