How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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BIG PENIS

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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A man walks into a bar.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Obama

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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does this look unsure to you?

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops