The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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