saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops