Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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