what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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An man walks to a bra

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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William wright is Gay

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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What is th edifference between jerry sandusky and mike citro sandusky rapes children... ...and joe diragi is gay

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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