Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops