knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Pickles are powerful

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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Nickelback.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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