What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

your moms so fat she has kankles

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

tim tebow is a great quarterback

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A scottish man having fun

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops