how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Women's rights.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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