- Anti Joke

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

What's a good joke? Not this one.

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

What city likes baseball the most? New York

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

A man is getting bored of his regular life-routine and decides to make a change. He thinks long and hard about what change he should make and after much deliberation he resolves to buy himself a pet camel. After all, some of his more fashionable friends have done this and it seems to make them very happy indeed and attracts to them a lot of attention, which they relish. He pops down to the local pet store and asks the owner "Do you have any camels?". To which the pet store owner replies "Yes of course! They're very popular at the moment and I have a selection out back in the stables. Come and take your pick!" So after inspecting the selection of available camels, the man pays the shopkeeper for the camel and a camel-leash and makes his way home, walking down the street and around the woods that separate the pet shop from his house. The camel is very well behaved and always walks at heel. The man is very happy with his purchase and starts thinking that this was definitely the best decision he could have made to improve his life. That night, the man tucks the camel up in it's straw bed in a makeshift shelter in the back garden, kisses it on the nose and says good night. The next morning, after an excellent nights sleep, he bounds downstairs, eager to have more fun with his camel. He throws open the doors of the shelter, grinning and excitable. But to his horror, he finds that the camel is dead. With no legs! Someone must have sneaked in during the night and killed his camel and taken its legs! The man is inconsolable. He cries and cries, and eventually he summons the energy to lay his camel to rest in a grave at the end of the garden, digging it plenty deep enough and saying a few private words in memory of his dearly loved, departed camel. After this he realises that he wants to try again to have his own camel, and this time he will keep his camel safe and even more comfortable. He will even take the time to give this second camel a name. So he walks to the pet shop, around the woods and down the street and goes to speak to the owner. “I just don’t understand”, says the man. “My camel meant the world to me and someone came along and killed it during the night…. and they took it’s legs.” “Disgusting,” replies the shopkeeper as he saddles up the second camel and exchanges money with the man. Anyway, he takes his camel home, walking down the street and around the woods, promising himself that he will do a better job of protecting it. He calls his brother who comes over from the next town to help him build a strong stables for the new camel and they install a security camera for extra safety. At night, the man kisses his camel on the nose, tucks it in to its hay bed, closes and locks the door, and heads to bed. Feeling warm and safe in the knowledge that this camel is safe and sound in its new home. He decides on a name. “Greg”, he mutters to himself as he falls asleep, “yes, Greg”. The next morning, as he bounds downstairs, calling out Greg’s name, he sees that the security camera is loose and hanging from the wall… He approaches the stable cautiously, with a baseball bat held ready to attack any intruders. What he sees horrifies him. His camel is Dead! Again! And with no legs! “What, oh what is going on?” he mutters to himself in a state of shock and confusion. He cries for a few hours, and buries the remains of the camel in the back garden. “OK,” he thinks to himself. “One more go, and if this doesn’t work, I’ll never buy a camel again!”. So he sets out for the pet shop. This time taking a shortcut through the woods, as it is a nice day and he could do with cheering up. As he passes through the deepest part of the woods he comes across an old mansion house that he has never noticed before… He reflects for a second, and wonders whether he should go and ask them if they’ve been having similar troubles with their camels. He decides there would be no harm in doing so, so he walks up their ivy-covered driveway towards the front door and when he gets there he knocks. Rat-a-tat-tat The heavy door squeaks and opens a touch. “Strange..” he thinks. He pushes harder and swings the door to be fully open. As he does so, the sunlight is allowed to shine in on the dark interior, it looks like a carnival haunted house, with cobwebs on candlesticks and dust everywhere. As the light cascades in, filling the room, and as his eyes adjust he sees a man, old and dishevelled, standing in the middle of the room, still as a statue, surrounded, from wall to wall, by camel legs hanging from the walls. Our man gasps and struggles not to vomit with disgust. He looks at the old man accusingly and in a shaky voiced murmur, he half whispers the words, “Have YOU been stealing my camel legs?” To which the man replies, “No.”

A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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