Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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