Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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