A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

69...you know how awkward this is now...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops