How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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