Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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In an all out brawl between the casts of Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and the Brady Bunch, who would be the winner? The Viewer

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What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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