Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Chlamydia

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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hey hey apple

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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The global news

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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