So a seal walks into a club...

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Itookasipasoda

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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Military intelligence.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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